Dad Life. The Best Life.

This whole thing started with me wanting a snack! Last Tuesday night, while trying to stay consistent on this diet (which has since been abandoned), I wanted to grab a “healthy” snack before calling it quits for the night. Walking into the kitchen, the first thing I saw was the plate of peeled apples I had put out for my kids a day earlier. I don’t know if the humidity in the house is off, but what was a fresh-cut apple a few days ago now looked like something I would think twice about feeding my puppy, Tux (but oddly enough, I was still willing to eat it… hmmm?).

In a past life, pre-kids, I would have said, “Screw it,” and just ordered a pizza and called it a day. Better yet, I would have called that angel of a lady (sorry, Lydia, I’m talking about my mom) and got her to whip me up something to eat and then just headed over to my folks’ house. But no… not anymore. I’ve got kids, and that means I’m repping “Dad Life.” I don’t know what it is about having kids—maybe it’s just me—but I feel like you have to take whatever impromptu opportunities come your way to teach whatever life lessons you can. Even if it falls on deaf ears, after enough times, you hope they start to get the message, right? Anyway, back to the apples!

So… I walk upstairs and go on to give a speech that would rival that of Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday. In between aggressive bites, I covered how some kids aren’t lucky enough to have meals every day, why you should be grateful for what you have, why you should respect your mom and dad, inflation and the associated impact on the cost of goods, global warming, etc., etc., etc. I was on such a roll that we even covered why, with all their offseason acquisitions, the Oilers will be a total wagon this year!

In hindsight, the look on my boys’ faces was kind of funny—it was a mix between “I think Dad’s having a stroke” and “Can he at least finish chewing because he’s spitting all over the place?” But, as their dad (and perhaps just as important, the winner of the 1994 Rosslyn Jr. High Athlete of the Year), I’d like to think I have some knowledge that I can pass along, and I’ll be damned if these boys aren’t going to listen! After a few seconds of awkward silence, I honestly started to laugh. It wasn’t one of those “ha ha, that was a funny joke” types of laughs; it was more like that nervous “oh shit” kind of laugh, as it was then and there that I realized I was outnumbered (and possibly outsmarted) by my three boys. Wherever we go from here… all I know is that it’s going to take a lot of energy. Welcome to the joys of Dad Life.

Later that night, I was on my Instagram, and a specific clip with the #MomLife caption came up. This video showed a strong mom, balancing life, love, and work. A devoted mother and wife with a profound selflessness as family needs always come before her own. I quite enjoyed watching the video, and it was really a good reminder of what moms go through each day. I see how much work Lydia puts in every day, and although I throw the occasional sarcastic remark here and there, it’s crazy to see the effort she puts in. Now, in saying all this, I am a pretty involved dad and have no hesitation in saying I do my fair share. And, on the heels of what seemed like the 900th chat with my boys about being grateful for what they have, I was like, Dad Life is a thing too! So might as well blog about it.

Listen, this isn’t a mom vs. dad type of thing at all. I don’t need that kind of smoke. I’ve got a mom, a wife, and a sister, and they all do incredible things for their families. My mom left her family and friends to come to Canada and start a family with my dad. Lydia left her life back in Toronto and moved here to be with me and raise a family. My sister works full-time while being a mom to two incredible girls. That all being said, with all their sacrifices, I don’t think I can accurately articulate how horrible these apples were! So, all things being equal, let’s just agree that we all make our sacrifices. So, I’m here to tell you, Dad Life is a thing… so let me start.

IT’S BEEN OVER 5 YEARS SINCE I ORDERED WHAT I WANTED AT A RESTAURANT!!! My kids can’t decide between chicken fingers, pasta, pizza, or hamburgers, so, to keep the kids from having a meltdown and ruining everyone else’s meal in the restaurant, I just order them everything on the kids’ menu and let them go hard. Come to think of it, when I was a kid, I had some good options too… I would either eat whatever was on the goddamn table or get smacked across the head, with zero f’s given about who was watching! Trust me, after a while, you learn to eat what’s in front of you… but I digress.

Now kids are just like adults—their eyes are usually bigger than their stomachs—so inevitably, there is always food left over. Not enough food to provide a full-grown man with the necessary sustenance he would otherwise need, but just enough to get by. I want to balance giving my kids what they want and making them understand that all they have comes with hard work. So, I sit there and eat the leftovers, the whole time lecturing them on why we shouldn’t waste food and only order what you can eat. I’m a full-grown man, essentially sustaining himself on dino nuggets and chocolate milk.

I’ve written about my dog, Tux, before. My wife and kids really wanted a dog, but I wanted no part of it because I knew they would get bored, and all the responsibility would fall on me. Funny enough, I found out about Tux when my wife told me to “grab $1,200 cash” because we have to meet someone and “pay them.” I honestly thought she had a drug problem and we were just going to pay off her dealer, but sadly, it was worse. Instead, I had to drive to Sherwood Park and meet a less-than-pleasant dog breeder who charged more for this dog than I paid for my first car. In the process, yours truly got a new full-time job as a dog sitter!

I was less than happy about how little consultation I had in the process, but I rep Dad Life, and deep down, I knew how happy this would make my boys. So, despite being the one who initially fed, walked, bathed, cleaned after, and played with the dog, if the boys wanted him, they got him. Now, as a dad, I need to be the one who leads by example and shows them the work that goes into caring for a dog. It took a while, but through constant repetition, the boys started to walk, feed, and play with Tux (I’m still picking up the shit if you’re wondering). Regardless, Dad Life means that you have to lead by example and slowly bring the boys along to assume responsibility. They now understand that if they don’t do their part, Tux will be the one who is ultimately affected by that, so the boys all lend a hand in raising Tux.

Lastly, and in all seriousness, Dad Life (for me at least) is about teaching my boys a very important and valuable life skill—how to be MEN! For whatever reason, this topic has been frowned upon, and there are some negative connotations when you talk about what a man should be like. This isn’t ideology or just spouting things so I can engage in a useless debate; for me, this is real life! Raising boys and wanting them to grow up to be strong men is a real thing, and I will gladly dig my heels in on this one. Raising kids, in general, can be hard. I have not been lucky enough to have any daughters, and no doubt, there is a whole lot that comes with raising girls into productive and honorable women. I don’t think one is necessarily easier than the other—just different—and my boys need to understand that to be productive men takes a lot of hard work, sacrifice, and care.

So, to my beautiful boys… I don’t have all the answers, and I myself am a work in progress, but take these points to heart.

Have the courage to fulfill your life’s duties to the best of your abilities. Have the courage to avoid hasty judgment of others. Have the discipline to be steadfast when things look their bleakest and to avoid retreat when situations become intense. It is so important to stay committed when the burden becomes heavy. Life will get hard, but learn that there are always patches of light even in darkness. Use your energy to help yourselves and others move forward, free of any judgment or need for acknowledgment. Learn that when firmness is required, you cannot be lenient, and, in the same breath, have the courage not to be hard when leniency is needed. As men, learn to admit your errors and not to insist on your viewpoints out of selfishness and arrogance. Always take care of your family! The buck stops with you!

Above all else, learn to follow your own path. Don’t do anything because you think you have to; be your own man. Don’t value your self-worth on how much money you make or what you do for work. Making a good living is important, but at the end of the day, your greatest achievement is simply to be happy. It sounds so easy, but honestly, it’s one of the hardest things to do. JUST BE HAPPY! It is my sincere wish that one day you will have families of your own and enjoy the simplest pleasures, like eating stale dino nuggets, while sitting back and watching your kids have the time of their life.

Selfishly, I can’t wait to eat the next bowl of what we affectionately call “garbage fruit.” It might give me a stomach-ache for two days, but the lessons it can teach are well worth it.

#DADLIFE

#’94AthleteoftheYear

#RosslynRoadRunners 😊